Study: Early Attachment Helps Teens Make Better Decisions

October 15, 2010

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, teen smoking rates in Tennessee are above 20 percent, but a study recently published in the “Journal of Child and Adolescent Mental Health” finds that early childhood bonds with at least one family member could help reverse that statistic and help young people become healthy, functioning adults.

Dr. Kate Green, who specializes in child development research, says the study confirms how important a stable, loving relationship can be in a child’s development.

“We’ve known this for a long time. When they are connected to at least one person within the family and have that strong attachment figure, they have better outcomes across the board.”

The study found that, compared to their peers, children with strong, supportive relationships had a substantially reduced risk for mental health concerns (such as suicidal thoughts) in adulthood and a lower risk for alcohol and drug disorders. These individuals also made better career choices by age 30.

Green says an early, strong attachment can even help teenagers make healthy lifestyle choices, such as whether or not they decide to smoke, or choosing to be in a strong relationship.

“They get into trouble less and have fewer teenage pregnancies. Even up into their twenties – when they’re getting into their first big relationships with other people, those are more successful.”

Tobacco statistics are available at www.cdc.gov.

So we did the family meeting thing.  We started with the ”something has to change” parent speech. Alexandra, our youngest, suggested we needed a family game night.  We verbally patted her on the head and went on about our lecture-as-solution technique.   Persistent person that she is, Alexandra wouldn’t let go of her approach to world peace.  She continued to bring up her game night request.  Finally, wanting to honor her sincerity and enthusiasm and confidence, we agreed to her suggestion.

The Power of Play

It seems our daughter is wise beyond her years.  The experience of playing together truly did shift our family dynamics.  Alexandra’s instinct really brought home the wisdom I have heard seasoned specialty toy retailers tout every spring during their “turn off the TV week” promotions.  Board games really do foster communication and joy and build new skills.

One of those skills, we found, was our children’s creative use of adjectives to describe how lame they find their father.  Whatever.  A caring father is willing to be the fall guy for higher learning.

Good Dads

I started thinking about the difference between “being a good dad” by setting up the swing set vs. “being a good dad” by participating in a game.  Swing set assembly was important to the joy of my children when they were younger.  Game playing turned out to be joy for me!

My kids were tough on our first game night–but very entertaining.   I noticed the strain of minor fracases was replaced by laughter.   And that laughter shaped us beyond the hours of game playing.  Days later we were a kinder, gentler group!

I saw cognitive leaps as Sean made up his own rules, rules he was subtly crafting to leave me in the dust and to make us all laugh.  I discovered that overt and humor- filled “cheating” stretched all our brains and deposited priceless family lore in the memory banks.

I am the newly crowned Sorry World Champion.  I’m making them beg for a rematch.

Today’s families are busy (and scheduled) more than ever. With grocery carts that provide a toy car to ride in (far away from Mom or Dad) and DVD players in cars, there can be too many “no talk” zones. And why is that important? Because, as Dr. Catherine Snow, one of the most expert researchers in the area of early language and literacy learning says, “Everyday conversation is the basic activity in the world for three-to-five-year-olds…. For young children, it’s through the talk that learning goes on.” And that keeps being a benefit as your child grows. The tangible benefits of regular conversations with our children include:

• improved vocabulary
• strong listening abilities
• improved thinking and reasoning abilities
• broadening of knowledge
• understanding of more complex concepts
• strengthened family relationships where learning happens in a comfortable supportive environment

Did you know that the vocabulary level of children in 1st grade can predict at least 30% of their success in comprehending what they read when they are 16 or 17? So, what do the conversations look like in order to have those results? They don’t need to be overly structured; sometimes great conversations are simple ones in which you talk about the sounds of words, make rhymes, play with changing the first letter of your child’s name and being silly together. 

In any case, we need to be careful that our conversations are full of more than just “correcting and directing”. The more complex the sentences, the more unique and interesting words that are used, the more you explore ideas by talking about them, the better the benefit. Reading aloud with your child and talking about what you are reading is also a terrific way to squeeze in some chat time. Don’t be afraid to allow interruptions and ask questions that start with “how” or “why”. You’ll be amazed at what your child tells you! Chat while you function in the world – at the grocery story (have that child up close to you when they are small, walking by you and helping with the shopping as they grow), while driving to the bank, soccer practice, or school. Reconnecting with a quick talk when your child and you meet up in the afternoon or at day’s end keeps you connected. Discuss openly situations you encounter together and help your child understand the world. Talk a bit when you say goodnight. All of this contributes to a literacy-rich environment which will help your child build the tools for coping with the fast amount of information (a lot of it still in text) that we must deal with in our modern society. Carrying on regular, generous, thoughtful conversations takes an effort on the parent’s part. There are few other activities that bring such strong results, before your children are readers, as it establishes a strong foundation that will bridge over into their reading abilities, even as they go on to learn how to read for themselves. One last reminder: Don’t make your conversations too structured. Avoid: “OK, we’re going to talk now because we need to.” The more natural these conversations are, the more your child will integrate these habits and skills into their everyday lives. They will have ready connections between the academic language they are learning to read in school and what they have heard and used at home. And, as I always say about reading, conversation is a tool for life.

Cathy Puett Miller AKA The Literacy Ambassador is a national literacy consultant, author of the new eBook, Powerful Picture Books: 180 Ideas for Promoting Content Learning (available at http://www.inspiringteachers.com/catalog/ebooks)/powerful_picture_books.html and, soon to be released Anytime Reading Readiness: Fun and Easy Family Activities That Prepare Your Child to Read. Visit her website at www.readingisforeveryone.org for even more tips and ideas to grow your children’s literacy in fun, playful ways.  New titles available in November, 2009 at http://www.maupinhouse.com/puettmiller.php.