So we did the family meeting thing.  We started with the ”something has to change” parent speech. Alexandra, our youngest, suggested we needed a family game night.  We verbally patted her on the head and went on about our lecture-as-solution technique.   Persistent person that she is, Alexandra wouldn’t let go of her approach to world peace.  She continued to bring up her game night request.  Finally, wanting to honor her sincerity and enthusiasm and confidence, we agreed to her suggestion.

The Power of Play

It seems our daughter is wise beyond her years.  The experience of playing together truly did shift our family dynamics.  Alexandra’s instinct really brought home the wisdom I have heard seasoned specialty toy retailers tout every spring during their “turn off the TV week” promotions.  Board games really do foster communication and joy and build new skills.

One of those skills, we found, was our children’s creative use of adjectives to describe how lame they find their father.  Whatever.  A caring father is willing to be the fall guy for higher learning.

Good Dads

I started thinking about the difference between “being a good dad” by setting up the swing set vs. “being a good dad” by participating in a game.  Swing set assembly was important to the joy of my children when they were younger.  Game playing turned out to be joy for me!

My kids were tough on our first game night–but very entertaining.   I noticed the strain of minor fracases was replaced by laughter.   And that laughter shaped us beyond the hours of game playing.  Days later we were a kinder, gentler group!

I saw cognitive leaps as Sean made up his own rules, rules he was subtly crafting to leave me in the dust and to make us all laugh.  I discovered that overt and humor- filled “cheating” stretched all our brains and deposited priceless family lore in the memory banks.

I am the newly crowned Sorry World Champion.  I’m making them beg for a rematch.

National Institute for Play

• Play is hard wired in animals and in humans–children and adults
• Play is central to learning and creative thinking
• Play and work are related; play increases efficiency and productivity
• Play is no less important than oxygen, a powerful force that may even determine the likely survival of the human race!

· SO–make time for play, unstructured, open-ended play every day

· Protect time for play and honor it as important for your child’s development, at least as important as structured activities!

Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood

· Cartoon, storybook and movie characters are licensed for marketing to babies toddlers and children (Companies spend about $17 billion annually marketing to children, a staggering increase from the $100 million spent in 1983)

· Everything from macaroni to sheets to toys may carry messages of “you have to have me”, messages designed to make children nag their parents into buying products

· Youth marketers employ child development specialists to “turn young children into consumers”

· Parents can resist reinforcing the power of licensed characters by:

o avoiding licensed products for as long as possible

o sharing awareness with other parents (in some preschools, parents have agreed to not send kids to school with clothing, backpacks, lunch boxes and toys that carry licensed images)

o making school age children aware of marketing intent

· Parents and teachers can advocate that schools be “commercial free”

· Parents can join the advocacy effort through campaigns to direct concern to corporations and policy makers

Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children’s Entertainment (T.R.U.C.E.)

You willl find great, downloadable documents and guides for parents as well as teachers

· Children use play to actively construct knowledge, meet social/emotional needs, and acquire life skills. (Big, important stuff, just from “playing”!)

· The content of meaningful play comes from each child’s own experiences, not from re-enacting the scripts of movies and videos

· SO–

o Provide uninterrupted daily play time [2]

o Organize play materials so they are easily accessible and so that you communicate respect for their value.

· Simple toys will provide the most value and most hours of creative play (blocks, puzzles, basic vehicles, dress-up props).

· Great toys enhance children’s natural ability to engage in imaginative, meaningful play by allowing them to try out their own ideas and solve their own problems.

· A toy that “performs” has more limited play value

· Look for more child power and less toy power!

· Parents can join one another to limit children’s screen time, limiting TV, movies, videos, computers, DVD’s and video games in favor of open-ended, problem-solving free play.

Children & Nature Network (C&NN)

The Children and Nature Network is a grassroots movement that began after the publication of  Richard Louv’s bestselling book, Last Child in the Woods; Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. You will find so many family-friendly tips and resources, from ways to organize your own local family nature groups to maps on nearby nature-filled resources!  

Research

A growing body of research links our mental, physical and spiritual health to the complex link between children and nature.

· Children need lengthy, unstructured free time in nature every week—every day, if possible!
· Check the many research findings and you’ll learn:

• Children are smarter, cooperative, happier and healthier when they have frequent and varied opportunities for free and unstructured play in the outdoors.
• Between 1981 and 1997, the amount of time children ages 6 to 8 in the U.S. played decreased 25%, by almost four hours per week. (Hofferth & Sandberg 2000)
• Dr. Stephen R. Kellert of Yale writes, “Play in nature, particularly during the critical period of middle childhood, appears to be an especially important time for developing the capacities for creativity, problem-solving, and emotional and intellectual development.”
• It’s important to share experiences with a child. Dr. Louise Chawla writes, “The very fact that a parent or grandparent chose to take the child with them to a place (in nature) where they themselves found fascination and pleasure, to share what engaged them there, suggests not only care for the natural world, but, equally, care for the child.”
• Advocating for greener school grounds may impact children’s learning. “Nature Nurtures: Investigating the Potential of School Grounds.” © 2000 Evergreen ( www.evergreen.ca) reports that benefits to students improve academic performance.

• Natural playgrounds (White and Stocklin 1998) are designed to stimulate children’s natural curiosity, imagination, wonder and discovery learning as well as nurture children’s connectiveness with nature.

• Natural playgrounds and children’s extended time playing there offer far more than physical exercise (and an answer to childhood obesity), their use for academic discovery is well documented
• Children with symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are better able to concentrate after contact with nature (Faber Taylor et al. 2001).
• Children with views of and contact with nature score higher on tests of concentration and self-discipline. The greener, the better the scores (Faber Taylor et al. 2002, Wells 2000).
• Children who play regularly in natural environments show more advanced motor fitness, including coordination, balance and agility, and they are sick less often (Fjortoft 2001, Grahn et al. 1997).
• When children play in natural environments, their play is more diverse with imaginative and creative play that fosters language and collaborative skills (Faber Taylor et al. 1998, Fjortoft 2000, Moore & Wong 1997).
• Exposure to natural environments improves children’s cognitive development by improving their awareness, reasoning and observational skills (Pyle 2002).
• Nature buffers the impact of life stress on children and helps them deal with adversity. The greater the amount of nature exposure, the greater the benefits (Wells 2003).
• Early experiences with the natural world have been positively linked with the development of imagination and the sense of wonder (Cobb 1977, Louv 1991). Wonder is an important motivator for life long learning (Wilson 1997).

And now, Children and Nature Network has added a social website where people can share, learn and lead in the growing movement to reconnect children with nature.  www.childrenandnature.ning.com

The Alliance for Childhood

You will discover:

• Links to new research and public education campaigns about healthy childhood
• Position paper publications on important issues (2009: Crisis in the Kindergarten)
• Ways you can partner to advocate for policies and practices that support children’s healthy development, love of learning and joy in living

Other Thoughts:

Give yourself permission to step back and allow your children some independence to explore life through their play.

With toddlers, make some time to sit back a bit, watch and enjoy!

o You don’t have to be interacting, directing, analyzing every moment to be a good parent!

o Even a very young child needs time to direct himself, to discover the fun HE can uncover in the sand, the dirt, or the playroom!

With preschool and primary school children, make a safe place where they can sometimes play together without adult direction and too much intervention

• Even children of the very best parents will benefit from the opportunity to create play scenarios that help them process their own family dynamics
• Mom or dad monitoring every moment may inhibit[3] some of that processing!
• Organized sports and artistic lessons can be important, but try to honor time each day for children to “be” rather than to “do”, giving them ample opportunity to reach inside themselves for fun, to build their own resourcefulness